Should A woman Propose to man?

More Women Are Searching for Ways to Propose to Men

I'm going to tell you my perception of this, and my initial response is... Hell no!

Now, it's no because it's all about, oh, it's the man's role and all that.

Let's go deeper than just roles and what we've been exposed to traditionally. My concern with a woman proposing is this;

When a man wants to marry you, you don't have to be the one to propose to him. He is already looking to make that happen: he's ready to take a step; go look for rings, whatever the case may be.

For you to have to now put yourself in as possible as a woman to propose to him, then typically, I'm not going to say always, but in most situations, it's a sign that he has not invested in the relationship as you are. Then he's not trying to go as far as you want to go. And now you're feeling the pressure – you're trying to make things happen on your own, so you take the initiative.

But the last thing you need is to be married to a man who doesn't want to be married to you. Now, you may say, "well, if he didn't want to marry me, why would he say, yes? why would he accept the proposal?"

Well, firstly, let me tell you real quick, I had a man who once told me, the only reason he's married is that he wasn't strong enough to say "No".

Men are not typically in a position to reject a woman. So, when a woman does something like propose to them, they're simply not wanting to feel guilty, not want to be the bad guy – the pressure of the moment would lead a lot of men to be, believe it or not, to say yes.

When you add on top of that, there's a lot of women who propose in front of an audience – you magnify his inability to say no to you at that moment. And now, he gets trapped in the situation. You don't want to trap a man. That's the last thing you want in your life because that's going to be a horrible, miserable marriage. And that same guy who was afraid to say, "No", well guess what? They're divorced now. It was never going to work.

So far that reason alone, I think that women have to take a step back.

Now, I will give one exception or one of the exceptions that can happen.

I once knew a story a client said to me. Her guy proposed to her three times, and each time she said, " No", because she was afraid about how her family was going to accept her marrying him. I think there was a religious reason. Something was going on in that situation. I can't remember at the moment.

But ultimately, she then had a revelation or epiphany that this was the man she wants to spend her life with, she doesn't want to be controlled by her parents or her family's input on the situation. So then she proposed to him.

I'm cool with that because that man was already trying to marry that woman. This wasn't her forcing him. This is what he always wanted and she finally gave it to him, and that's a beautiful thing that she was willing to then take initiative – when she realized "I'm ready and willing to do this".

But outside of that, NO!

I'm going to say women if you're thinking about proposing, don't do it. It's not in your best interest; in most situations, it is a sign of bigger problems in the relationship, and there's something that needs to be addressed. And you don't want to ever feel like forcing a man into marrying you or being with you when he doesn't want to be there.